nothing more than nothing

finished my prison break already. darn it still hang there after season 2. bloody poo poo. getting a lil tired bout it. draggy. but when season 3 is out then i go dl or what ba. LOL.

so now, i watching initial D, starting from stage 1. slowly watch, hopefully by then can go army.

OH YESTERDAY I WATCHED ARMY DAZE LOL. funky~

happy 30th. 2 years ago, something happened. 2 years later, nothing happen.

darn, i thought IT fair was today. woke up SLIGHTLY earlier and i thought of going for it. in the end, esther tell me its tomorrow. sian more than 1/2.

UBIN! next week some when. kiv.

hoho yesterday i went to party world then to NYDC with my poly mates and a uninvited guy. was quite an alright day yesterday. alright day to spend as i don really have to think of what i have to do. but it is definitely an extremely bad day for my poor wallet. its bout to get thinner by lots soon- with the possible purchase of a desktop

the pizza i ate at NYDC is "woolala". so hot but soooo good. shared with jeff. thank goodness i shared if not i hve to eat for 2 hours. ha exaggerated.

went to school to settle my lappy and the grad robe. its some junky shit man. its disgusting. hate it man. cant imagine wearing it. argh. my laptop should be getting a free change of motherboard by toshiba. it should be on its way there soon.

had plans for my lappy. once it come back with a working motherboard, i will try to offload it ASAP for the best value available considering the IT fair is actually coming already. best value possible. not much expectation. after which i will get a desktop. i dont really think i have a need for lappy so jus get a desktop. more durable hopefully.

was on my way back from NP i thought i should go and get a hair cut. but i decided to cut somewhen this week, perhaps even next.

all of a sudden i have no mood for graduation.

i jus ring rang rung the man from meow, i meant mel helpdesk. he said its probably motherboard's fault. yea and fuck him. i changed the motherboard 1 year ago with him and he tell me shouldnt have problem. that fucking time is 750 bucks from my pocket man. a debt owing my sister till i pay her back last month. fuck man~

i cant believe this. i hope there is still warranty and the idiot toshiba allows me to change the motherboard. if not i might just go ahead and get a desktop or jus wait till army come and go in liao.

i intend to get a desktop after i go army for awhile. a desktop is goooood. i can play game yay. but till then, jus hope i can continue using this dumbdumb thing. we have got feeling u know? being together for 3 years. u know? i love u lappy. cant bear to leave u =(

so guys/ladies (if there is any readers), please expect me to disappear for awhile. meanwhile, see u around pretties/handsomes

something bad happened yesterday to my dear laptop. the monitor jus POOF and its distorted. with alot of lines running from the top of the screen to the bottom of it. fuck man. and the color runs, and the line runs, and soon enough im gonna kill myself.

its gonna DIE! i took a screenshot and send bebe. jus testing if its a visual thing or a real virus attack or smth like that. it aint a virus it seems, it looks like either i burnt my graphic card or burnt my monitor. and it also seems like my D: drive is not working. original disc, pirated disc, none could be read. and somehow my laptop performance is affected. im not sure why too

it seems to laaaaaag. and quite terribly. and fuck i cant watch my 2nd season of prison break. and fuck i cant watch anything that are burnt in dvds. fuck!

now i think i see the entire picture. there is 2 things that spoilt or seems like spoilt. 1st is the D: drive and 2nd is the monitor. and both is soooo essential to me. damn idiot leh. kaozzzz.


I WANNA CRY!

prison break
i jus finish watching the prison break season 1. argh its a god damn nice show. i really take my hats off man (or however u say it. but u know what i mean). the show is addictive. its hell nice. i wanna watch season 2. cool stuff. anyone who didnt watch should watch.

what would u do if u are in situation like the show? leave someone behind or leave no man behind? haha its only a show but its sometimes worth thinking

HT liverpool 0 - milan 1
a sibeh taiko goal. boo. some pirlo freekick hit inzaghi and send reina diving wrong. i mean HIT, or deflected. liverpool played better. though i dunno but we should look at the 2nd half. it would be exciting.

personal
i still feel disappointed with myself. i dont wanna choose to blame things so i decided to blame myself for all the things that dont happen in the direction people wants.

i often "fu yan" people. u know? u understand chinese? it means some thing like saying something jus for the sake of saying.

for that, im disappointed with myself.

jocelyn
and oh jocelyn, im real sorry bout the postage incident. i feel damn bad. something must have happened to me. its jus a postage. sorry man.

barbara
i stil dont know. i saw your last post in your old blog. i feel bad. im real sorry. i....

why am i becoming more and more selfish? or am i just starting to behave more and more of myself? what had got into me? had boredom killed me? argh.

fuck myself man. i do not love this

i think i learnt something lately. sometimes, instead of blaming, we have to take the blame ourselves. once we take the blame, things might then move on. if u dont wanna take the blame, things will not move at all. so yea, this time round, im taking the blame

i dunno if its jus me or is this everyone have to go through. why is there always problem? either r/s shit or family shit. so tired of it but im used to it. ironic.

i knew something. realised something. not trying anymore things bout some things. just let it be. the thing is that, IM GOING ARMY IN 2 MONTHS! (yea i know its long, trying to make it better). once i go in, i will lead a different life.

yea, whatever. bullshit. this is yet another junk post. lol

yay i lov my zen.

haiz. sibeh jialat. sibeh sian also.

questions are still running up and down my head. why cant i go army earlier like in june?

arghhhhh

when will prince charming ever find his cute simple minded princess? says:
need a galfren to shower all my overflowing love and sweetness

HAHA EUGENE WEE JUS SAID THIS! LMAO

anyway i just watch "28 weeks later". not that nice show. its a part 2 of, "28 days later". jus hope there aint gonna be "28 fortnights later" or "28 months later". full of blood and gruesome scenes. didnt enjoy.

and whao, i ate pasta today. spaghetti. hell of a rare

i jus got home from jeff's place. went out for supper/drink after john's bbq. it was an alright one, and the cake is fucking huge. it cannot even go into the fridge. its a whao stuff. whatever, anyway we used rekindle candle. its so lol.

we went to drink/eat/supper/chat after the chalet. 2 drivers, weiye and lijia. haha everytime i sit in that yellow car i feel uncomfy. argh. haha too many stunts. lol. anyway i drank a dumb drink, then they all go back home at only 2? its so early. sibeh jialat. actually wanna go east coast but bo lang. then weiye drove us then i drop at jeff house. thought of going out to get a cab to east coast to rest a night but didnt. too tired to

did almost nothing at jeff's house. just chat with him and stuff. gays talk. haha. saw his lil retriever. doesnt look like it will retrieve anything (yet). take bus early in the morning. 147.

those people wont shut up. i was sleeping and then they kulu kulu kulu wake me up. bloody idiots. argh. now that im home i can lie on my bed. =D

NIGHTS!

haiz, why do i always feel emo? am i some weirdo or what?

whatever la. i didnt watch spiderman again. cancelled again.

tomorrow going for john's chalet. dont actually feel like staying yet i dont feel like going home. should i find somewhere and slack out the night? i think i should. then in the morning then i return home, rest, and go IMM with my parents that sunday night. mmm

alright. thats the plan. tomorrow i shall leave at night, then slack out the day, maybe east coast park or what. no ideas man. feeling eeeeeeemo

what a cool day i had today. so ultimate cool. supposingly gonna meet those pkh people and watch spiderman3. well, eugene tells me as though its all fix but i feel its not. so, in the morning, its proven that im right. its cancelled. how nice.

then eugene and claire went back pkh. im supposed to meet them but i was there kinda late so they are like leaving already. i dont think i wanna go back for a min, then say hi, bye again. so i didnt stop at office. what i do? drop by queensway, buy an ice cream, walk around and look around, then left queensway. haha

after that its only 4. god time is hard to pass. then i decided to take any bus that drop by. just nice 855 came along so i went vivo. its kinda bored. i walked around and went to the top level, where the "water playground" is. that weekend i went i saw alot of other races people playing there. i thought i would never had a chance to see any chinese doing so. chinese prove me wrong. i saw one entire bunch of sec sch kids, in their upper sec uniform, sitting in the water and playing around like kids. thats so what the fuck. nb these kids... sibeh jialat

still wondering around, drop by toys r us, and guess what i saw? I SAW TICKLE ME ELMO! and its selling la. its 100+ bucks for 1 freaking toy but it's SELLING! staying there awhile, walk around, saw the old crayon shinchan alarm i used to own. i ask them how much it cost and it cost some fucking 18 bucks! AH! its just an alarm!

lunch/dinner at bk again. get the dumbo toy for chris sun. he owe me big time. some good meals i must claim from him. hahah. he owe me big time MAN

i feel like shopping, but i dont know what to shop. its so LOL la. anyway, im real bored. some things keep running around my head. some events, some people, some situations. its confusing and im not willing to share to anyone. i mean anyone. oh well, like anyone cares? i dont care anyway.

fuck

fuck im bored. i bought a game yesterday. its bout 3 kingdoms? its called fate of the dragon. graphics is lousy, game is old, but i think its alright. but its just a lil too tough for a noob like me. disappointing. should i keep playing or go to bed or what?

haha i feel the need for speed man. i need to play it! i NEED TO GET TO THE NEXT FUCKING STAGE! damn i hate the police. =<

anyway, im hella bored. IM TOO BORED. SOMEONE SAVE ME!

Hi im here again. And the reason why im back here is because im bored again.

Today is tiring man. I went for a lil basketball session, with matthew as the special guest. Fun? Im not too sure man. I think I suck. The reason why I wanna play is because I have the need to burn some fats off. God but I didn’t even bother to run. Syndromes of fat ass are piling up man.

Shit. I hate it. I see that lump of thing on my tummy and im desperate to get rid of it. But the thing is that im almost lazy to run, or exercise. All im willing to do is cycle but im sitting down when im cycling. So I don’t see a point in me exercising, thus I didn’t. damn

I need a life man, I seriously need one. I feel so.. so no life. Did I ever had a life? Cmon~

Aye. I have a slight problem on my blogger, so im blogging on word, and copying and pasting there

Office keeps calling/messaging. Shiat man. Call, ask. Message, ask. God. Think la deh, THINK! God.

Whatever. Im watching NBA, reading NBA players blog, and keeping myself updated with the NBA scores. This years playoff is quite a misery. Miami and Dallas was given an surprised knock by underdogs, Chicago and Golden State. Its quite a WOW thing. Miami is last year’s champ and dallas is the best in town this year. And this 2 teams are out. Fucking cool. Poor lakers. Poor kobe. This only proves one thing, the ball is round, like bebe’s ass. Lmao

I dated my bfs out today. Everyone is here today. Haha. Tuyuan is so bullied by those 2 buggers. Poor fellow. I played “lets go jungle” with bebe today. Its damn cool, we are 100% compatible. HAHA we should be gay and be together dude! That’s fucking awesome.

Haha. Mmm so basically we are jus slacking around till night? Yea that’s bout all man. Nothing interesting, nothing boring. Its just another ordinary day that I cant complain bout

At least I cant complain

isnt he adorable? haha, thats one of the baby my mum babysits. and my job? helping her entertain the kids till they go home. anyway he is not even 1 years old but he is a bad ass i tell u.

its a long boring day. its yet another raining day. went out, aimlessly. damn. i feel so unwell.

something is missing. i know what it is. its...

whatever man, not like i care.

fuck. there are still more days like this to come. i hate it

i feel so hated, by myself, my family, and her

please do me a favour. hate me longer, deeper, and forget bout me

not only u. all my friends, if u people think im wrong, hate me too.

for fuck i care. nb

So many things, so little time.

So much regrets

Sometimes i get real mad. Why am i being brought to this earth? Is it to torture my parents, my friends, and the others? I think so. I bring so much shit to people. Why am i still alive? Could u take back the life u gave me?

Am i supposed to grow from this? Am i supposed to learn something out of this one? Is that so?

If its really so, what am i to learn? God. Save me. Im going berserk. I feel the urge to end my EVERYTHING, including my life.

Why? Why is this happening to me? Why MUST this happen to me? I wanna run, run away and never return. But i cant, im stuck here. Im tired. I need a break. I cant move on anymore.

I thought i got some good friends, new or old. I thought they might be able to pull me out of this. At least, just, do something to make me feel better. I dont know man. Some bothered to do a little, some gave me a push instead. Others? They just dont give a fuck.

----------------

Do u understand? After so much i had told u? No, u dont. I dont know what more can i do. i tried the "hard method" and the "soft method". But both ways didnt work out!

She used that "thing" again. God thats the only one thing i cant take. And damn, i cant take it once again.

Whats the point in u breaking down and not letting go? Whats the point of me breaking down with u because u dont wanna let go? Maybe we should both let go, it could be doing us a favour. I know its going to be tough on u. Its gonna be tough on me too, though it wont be as much.

Do u think we are both happy now? What makes u think we will be happy in the future like this? Whats the future gonna be like now that the situation turned out like this?

U told me not to mention the future. Alright. But eventually, sooner or later, "future" is gonna come into the picture man. Do u get that point?

Somethings doesnt work the way it should. Some things in life, there is no back tracking. For example, moving on a "One Way" lane. Yea? Fucking Bullshit.

i saw a very interesting slogan at work. Yea, when im still at PKH. U know what it writes? It says: "Look Back, Move Forward".

Makes me think. Look back on my mistakes, and move forward. It applies for u too my dear. I really hope u can do so too. We have to move on.

ARGH. This whole entry is just a crap one. No one bothers anyway. i myself cant be bothered with myself. Im really tired. Mentally i mean. Some brave soul, please take my life away and send me to hell.

why do i feel like i have so fucking much to blast? so much so that i actually log into blogger again, stare at this fucking plain white screen, and not know what to key?

FUCK

today, shit happens again. i dont love shit so i not gonna elaborate on shit.

what do i need in my life? what do i wanna achieve? these shit holes just keep coming in and stay in my head. these shit doesnt make my life better and happier but it jus stay. piss me off as usual again. i hate being emo but im emo.

fuck

hung out at clarke quay. looking at people with life. looking at those people with life having their night life. thats my night life. my night life is to go cycle, look at those people with life spending their night life at clarke quay.

feel so lonely despite being with bebe and ray. why? why do i feel that my life is in a mess? i got no fucking idea man

i always hate emo days.