nothing more than nothing

i shouldnt have got into r/s. i mean ANY r/s that i ever got into. this includes all my mistakes, the wrongly choosen ones and those that i regrets.

i really dont think im ready. too immature. too young. too insecure. too unstable. too many "too"s. i just.. too fucked up

yea whatever. im real confused and i really dont know what the fuck i want. i really dont. its forming an unknown stress upon myself. this stress is self incurred, and i have no fucking slightest clue of what to do and why is it like this. so people out there, please do not ask me now. im too tired to answer. mentally shagged.

that level of stress is scary. i never felt so stressed. its worse than any stress i had handled. work or studies, not in any case. this stress disturbs me deeply. i really dont know where it came from and why it came.

there are alot of times i feel real unwell. i really wonder if i will go berserk soon. maybe? haha. weakling like that. whatever. some times, i really cannot take it already. i just need to blast it out.

so blast it where? here. in blogger. awesome. some times i really think i need a real good friend. a friend that i can talk to whenever i need. argh. do i have any? i dont know.

im so tired everyday. really wish i can dont wake up.

i think im really confused. so many thing rushing into my head recently. so many things i worry about. or maybe the fact is that i worry too much. why do i worry? who do i worry? what do i worry?

FUCK. DROWN ME. KILL ME. SLAP ME. PUNCH ME.

make me wake up. i need to wake up.