nothing more than nothing

alright. im at work now. im feeling sick. im tired.

i cant think recently. i dont know what im doing everyday. i need to think but i cant. can some one enlighten me?

what happen to me? i didnt mean to be that way but it ended up that way. i jus wanted to cool things down, get prepared for whatever im preparing for before anything.

army is supposed to be a pleasure to me. i would love to see myself grow into a tough strong man. a strong man doesnt mean physically strong, it also means mentally.

i need to reinforce on that man. my mental attributes must be real low. i never seems to get going in my life and i never seems to know my aim and target. it was clear a moment ago. then it blurred. after it blurred, it cleared and then it got blurred again. what the fuck is wrong with me?

that is it la. i dont know who the fuck i am like that. am i still boonpeng? or is everyone around me not themselves? i dont wish to carry emotions around but sometimes it just happen.

fuck. hate me. thanks